Tag Archives: sleep

Today’s Musings

Random thoughts that I am pondering this morning.

~Why can’t they figure out what the hell is going on with the “sores” that keep appearing all over my body?  One doctor says it’s X and the other doctor says it’s Y.  Then they prescribe different things.  No dermatologist, no skin scraping, no testing; just disagreement.  Meanwhile, I keep getting new “sores” and neither medicine is working!

~The sunrise was absolutely beautiful this morning, so who cares about a few silly “sores” anyway!  I am so blessed to see such a gift.  I love opening my shades in the morning when I let my fur-kids out and seeing the beginnings of the oranges, pinks, purples and yellows on the horizon.  It makes everything okay.

~I have volunteered to do something that I seem to have a mental block about doing.  I need to get past this, as I made a commitment.  I have it mostly completed, need to type it up on the computer.  Mostly, the problem is that I spend so much time reading blogs that I am tired and hurting from sitting at the computer so long!  I will feel better when it is done though.  So just do it already!

~ It is going to feel like Spring today and I hope to get some time outside to enjoy it!  Or at least accomplish something that has to do with warm weather.  After all, Winter returns tomorrow, with cold temperatures and the possibility of more snow.  Will Winter ever give up and allow Spring to arrive?  Are we going to go straight from Winter to Summer?  I hope not, I love the blooming of Spring and the warm days/cool nights.  One of my favorites is the light green of the budding trees with the purple of the budding Redbud trees.  That is just gorgeous!  Hopefully I can get a picture this Spring to post on here.

~I am thinking it would be a good day to give the fur-kids a bath.  Of course, I can’t say this out loud or they will hide the rest of the day!  They really need one, it has been way too long.  I don’t like to do this chore any more than they like to get a bath.  It hurts.  And I spend a couple of days recovering.  It seems silly, but it is true.  It only takes a couple of hours to give baths, but afterwards, I can barely walk.  But since I have nothing much going on, it seems like a good time. Now if I can convince myself of this when it warms up this afternoon.

One last thought for today:  I know that I am so blessed in so many ways.  I think of all the people who are homeless, who are hungry, who are truly alone; and I realize how much I have been given.  And then I think of all the families of Flight 370.  I can’t imagine their pain.  So, yes, it is all perspective and looking on the positive side of life.  Most of the time I am able, sometimes I forget.  

Positive thoughts to you all…

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Sometimes You Just Have to Admit it Sucks

As I am sitting here this morning, I am wondering why I give myself such large challenges.  I chose my “Theme of the Year” to “Just Be.”  To me that implies, giving up the stress, the worries, the fear, the longing, the “I’m not good enough’s,”  the “what ifs.”  That list could go on and on and on, so I will just leave it there, you get the picture.  I really am working on most of them and doing fairly well…but that stress and worry thing, that is a B***H!!!   It is hard not to worry and to eliminate stress when an event that will impact the rest of your life is before you.  I don’t often have events like this in my life.  Usually, I can eliminate them immediately by using “will this matter in a month, a year, 5 years?”  In this case, the answer to all three is a resounding YES!  So, how does one reduce the stress and worry about something that will have an effect on their life for a long time to come?  I am not sure I have the answer to that question, as I have been trying all sorts of things to no avail.  Distraction is always my go-to! It works for pain and depression, to a point that makes both manageable for me.  But now, it has been less than effective.  I do not seem to be able to concentrate on anything…it has taken me five days to get back to finishing this short post!  Nor can I meditate, as I can not stop my brain, although I do not know where it is going.  I do seem to be able to sleep–during the day.  At night, that luxury escapes me, even when I force myself to skip the daytime naps.  So, no, I am not coping well.  Or maybe I should just say I am not coping as well as I want to cope!  I am coping.  I have not done anything “foolish,”  like shopping with money I don’t have.  That would be my go to temporary feel-good.  I am breaking that pattern, or I should say I have broken it…the one good thing that has come out of this journey.  I have learned what is truly important in life; and I am learning, usually the hard way, whom I can trust to provide it!

I have two more days to wait until this event is over.  Of course, there will be no outcome that day. Or in the days after that.  It will take weeks.  More waiting.  The second lesson I am learning here.  Patience.  Waiting. To “Just Be.”